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Can an empathic person control a narcissist? (Originally asked on Quora)

Can an empathic person control a narcissist?

(Originally asked on Quora and declined as a submission to a space, however..)

Hello there 👋,

Anyone can control a narcissist if they want to or need to. It certainly doesn’t take the often self declared ‘empath’s’ superpowers to achieve the thankless task because a question that this question really deserves is why on earth would you want to? But more interestingly, why would you use the term ‘control’?

You see, as a likely self declared empath in your feels and all that loving peoples ‘energy’ that you lot always feel the need to state to each other like some badge of spiritual one-upmanship (or they/themship), one would expect your type to use a softer more caring and considerate wordage? Allow me to be more specific by asking ChatGpt AI, a robot - a simple question; How would you make this sentence gentler - Can an empath control a narcissist?

How can someone with empathic abilities influence the behavior of a person with narcissistic tendencies?

How can someone with empathic qualities influence the behavior of a narcissist?

Could an empath potentially influence a narcissist's behavior?

Is it possible for an empath to influence a narcissist's behavior?

You see ‘influence’ & ‘behaviour’ being the key word and yet as an empath, versus an unfeeling artificial intelligence language model, you fell way short of anything decent - straight to control we go.

I went on and asked the AI; What is empathic abilities? And it said that “Empathic abilities refer to the capacity to understand and share the feelings, emotions, and experiences of others. Empaths are highly sensitive individuals who can intuitively sense and empathize with the emotions and energies of those around them. They have a heightened ability to tune into others' emotional states and often demonstrate a deep level of compassion and empathy towards others.”

And the thing is, a narcissist is widely recognised as a person who has experienced a known or unknown, conscious or unconscious TRAUMA/Terrible Parenting when they were but a child, they have a screwed up ideation and version of what love is as they know no different. I’m no narcopologist as they say but that is a thing and out of all the people in the world to have the abilities to assess and to assist a person who is mostly a broken child when emotionally challenged I’d have guessed at a genuine person with balanced empathetic abilities which is a skill set of healthy empathy coupled with boundaries.

It's important to note here that self-identifying as an empath is a subjective experience and not a scientifically recognised or validated term. While some people may genuinely possess a higher degree of empathy or sensitivity, others may use the term as a way to describe their empathetic nature or heightened emotional awareness. It's a personal identification that can vary in interpretation and understanding from person to person and this person with respect, wants to control a narcissist as they believe that the control will help the narcissist.

And yet, truly the only way to help a narcissist is by learning and adopting the Grey Rock method, discovering personal and unbreakable boundaries or going no contact if your personal situation allows it.

The rest is just ego, which a true empath wouldn’t have as i’ve come to understand them from my life experience. The last thing a true empath would want is to control someone but that's the first place your particular mind went and I would even go as far as to question your “diagnosis” of them being a narcissist which after all is the great unknown and always psychologically masked by things like spirituality or being a self declared empath all too often, like you might think you feel others emotions but the truth could just as easily be that you cause others emotions and then assign a label to their meltdown that absolves you of all responsibility as it can't be you as your an empath who’s all about control! Amiright?

Hope this helps someone today, for further awesome help please click on the question above and view the other very helpful and practical answers!

Peace ✌️

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Helen Rogerson
Helen Rogerson
Jun 26, 2023

Your writing touches me deeply , it is healing... it wraps around me, answering and leaving me with more questions ...which I love ..thank you for your wisdom!

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