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Is it allowed to post the name of our narcs in order to see if others have encountered them?

Updated: Feb 25, 2023

Nope. Doxing is still a shitty thing to do.

We compare notes anyway in our shared answers and collective knowledge. A narcissist, whilst it seems so, isn't planning what happened, they're not sat in a lair stroking a white cat expecting you to die… mostly, what they do is done as its very much a learnt behaviour, an adoptive coping mechanism if you will against the trauma (known or unknown) that they endured as a child and for which they still carry with them now as an adult protecting the varied and deep layers of their trauma before you see the broken inner child when the mask finally crashes.

To say that they are making a choice to be a nob when it's a narcissist is so far removed from what they're actions actually are and is entirely the same as maybe saying a codependent (which only enthuses a narcissist) is also a total nob in all of their relationships because of how they be eventually when in dynamics - all that giving to the point of burn out - I guess if the narcissist is planning their wily ways then so does a codependent when plotting how much to give before they break themselves at the hands of a adult toddler when emotionally challenged. If you give and give and give, a narcissistic type will consume you and only ever take. Its our lack of boundaries and neediness to be loved, heard and wanted that sets the whole rollercoaster of abuse up. Its true, search your feelings and truth and you'll see it.

Gathering a list of names of would be abusers is incredibly subjective, highly dangerous and only really asked from an emotional “let's get em” standpoint.

The very best thing to do following an experience with a narcissistic type is to know what they are, how they operate when emotionally challenged and how to avoid them in the first place then, we can make informed decisions about how best to manage our own lives, dating and relationships. Following that little bit of work born from the experience we then hit the hard part and need to work on self and self alone as incredibly, our actions and inputs in a narcissistic relationship are likely too much for any narcissist to handle!

And so, making a public list, checking it twice and comparing notes is firstly quite a scary idea Herr Strudel and secondly is likely an illegal activity. Imagine the narcissists here pretending to be victims (of which their are lots) and then having a means to really do a smear campaign on their victim by using a list thing or doxing. There are two sides to every story and somewhere in the middle is the whole truth and if a real victim has gone to court, achieved a verdict and/or diagnosis and has litigation wins in their favour confirming narcissism then maybe its okay to name and shame as its then a matter of public record anyway.

Until then though, no… please try to park any connection to them would be abusers and focus on self with the reality check that they cannot change and will likely never make a choice to even try and you can make better choices for self, growth and healing if you want to that is.

The bottom line is the means and ways of them and how they be, the actions and repercussions are a global phenomenon of pretty much the same same throughout the world - putting your abuser on a list or in a public forum achieves nothing but extension of the trauma bond by virtue of the accused (named publicly) then attacking the accuser as one assumes that by naming an abuser publicly one would also put your name next to theirs so that the abuser can at least defend themselves where warranted.

It's interesting, I imagine a lot of people would concur with the idea of naming and shaming, perhaps the same people that largely use proxy or pseudonym names..

Hope this helps!

Be well, Peace ✌️


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